Ramblings of the Heart
by RosierSpecs
Summary: A bittersweet story between Lightning and Serah. WARNING! If you do not fancy fantasy-like incest then I advise you to not read this particularly disturbing story. This isn't a typical sweet story between the two. You have been warned.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Perish the thought," Lightning Farron mumbled to herself. Her younger sister, Serah, looked at her quizzically from across the kitchen table.

"What'd you say, Claire?" Only Serah could call Lightning by her real name. Anybody else would have received a strike across the jaw if they dared to utter the name at her. After her parents death, Claire, now Lightning, developed her own way of coping from the loss and that was to throw away the past entirely and create a whole new future-even if it meant changing her name. Serah stared at Lightning with concern. "Claire?" she called out to her again.

Lightning snapped out of her thoughts and quickly put on a carefree smile on her face. "Oh, all I said was I can't wait until you're wedding." The statement was a blatant lie. Lightning was absolutely dreading the marriage between Snow and Serah. The thought alone, nearly made her dizzy from the rage that pooled around in her chest.

Serah was beaming from ear to ear as she got up from her seat to place a chaste kiss on Lightning's right cheek. Lightning could feel her face becoming rapidly hot from a damn blush creeping onto her cheeks. _Shit! _Lightning berated herself.She quickly tried to conceal it by lowering her head into the upturned collar of her army jacket. Fortunately, Serah had already made her way behind her towards the stairs. "Goodnight Claire," she simply said as she made her way up the stairs to her bedroom. When Lightning heard Serah's door softly click shut, a tear made its way down her cheek and eventually landing onto the table. Lightning placed a hand on her cheek where Serah had kissed her-it was burning with pulsating warmth. _Why am I feeling this way? _Lighting questioned her own bewildering feelings.

The next morning, Lightning could hear the clanging of pots and pans from the kitchen and reluctantly sat up on her bed. _What's Serah doing up so early? _Lightning wondered.She ran a hand through her naturally messy, strawberry-blonde hair and yawned. Her head and eyes ached persistently from all the crying she had done the previous night; she barely got any sleep. The thought of Serah being wedded to somebody like Snow made Lightning's stomach curl. These bizarre feelings she had towards her sister caused a severe feeling of shame to well up in the pit of her stomach. For many months now, the strange feelings kept her up nights pondering why, when, and how this all started. With some thought, Lightning remembered it all started with the news of Snow's proposal to Serah. Since then, Lightning's hatred towards Snow only grew stronger every passing day and so did her own confusing feelings. She hated him for taking Serah away from him and the way Serah had on the most biggest smile whenever she was around him. Lightning felt like she had been replaced. She couldn't figure out why she would feel the need to be jealous of her sister's fiance? She should be ecstatic for her little sister for finding someone she wants to spend the rest of her life with, even though it isn't her. "No!" Lightning shook her head furiously. "Stop it Lighting! Stop thinking these disgusting thoughts!" No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get past the feeling of envious rage towards Snow and these newly realized feelings she harbored deep inside for Serah. _All the times she showed utmost loyalty and affection towards Serah are just things any sister would show, right? _Lighting tried to justify to herself. But it was the masked feelings behind her actions that made Lightning's sisterly affections towards Serah…different. Lightning grasped her head between her hands and ducked her head in shame and guilt. She was supposed to protect Serah, not burden her with her own insane feelings. Tears started pooling around in her aqua-teal eyes. She tried her best to hold back the tears of shame and anger, but could not. The tears started falling onto her bed sheets like falling rain.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

A nice hot shower was exactly what Lightning needed. After her relaxing shower, Lightning made her way towards her bureau for a pair of fresh clothing when suddenly her bedroom door began to slowly creak open. Lightning's quick reflexes gave her enough time to duck back into the bathroom. "Serah, is that you?" she frantically asked.

"Sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to barge in!" Serah's high-pitched voice could be heard throughout Lightning's room. "I'll just leave now!" she quickly said and did just that.

Lightning cautiously poked her head around the door and seeing that Serah really had left, continued to get dressed. _That was a close one., _Lighting mused.

As she walked into the kitchen, the sight of Serah in a frilly pink apron with the words 'Kawaii Cook' in big bold letters caused Lightning's face to immediately turn red from the sight before her. This time, unfortunately, Serah noticed.

"There you are Claire!" Serah chimed walking towards her. "Are you okay? You're face looks kind of flushed." Serah placed a hand on Lightning's forehead whilst peering deep into her eyes for any signs of illness. Serah's eyes were a darker shade of blue than Lightning's, but they were more beautiful than her own in Lightning's opinion.

Lightning's blush deepened at the sudden contact and close proximity between themselves. "I'm just fine Serah!" Lightning reassured her while backing away slightly. "Please, don't worry about me."

Serah continued to follow Lightning, but eventually believed her. "Good, I was getting sort of worried about you this morning so I decided to check on you, but I didn't mean to enter your room without knocking. I'm sorry." Serah hung her head in guilt, but Lightning quickly comforted her with a quick squeeze on her arm. That was all she could allow herself to do.

"It's okay. It's no big deal. You know you can come into my room anytime." Serah lifted her head back up slightly-a hint of a blush creeping onto her cheeks could be seen. Lightning felt her heart flutter at the endearing sight. _I didn't mean to make it sound that way! _Lightning thought, referring to her last comment about Serah always being welcomed into her room. Serah averted her eyes downwards and grabbed for Lightning's right hand and kissed her palm. Lightning felt her eyes shoot wide open with surprise and a whimper managed to escape through her clenched teeth. Serah turned her eyes towards Lightning's face and Lightning could see she had on a serious expression. The only times Serah became serious are the times when she wore her heart on her sleeve. Lightning could feel her body become weak with feelings she never felt before. Serah eventually let go of her hand and proceeded to kiss Lightning on the cheek.

"I love you Claire. Please, never forget that," Serah whispered into her ear, causing Lightning's whole body to shiver with pleasure. _Stop it, Lightning! You're disgusting for feeling this way about your own blood sister! You're a disgrace and an abomination to mankind! _Lighting didn't know if Serah noticed her body's reactions from Serah's provocative actions, but she knew Serah didn't mean for her actions to come off as seductive. _Or did she? No way! That's called wishful thinking Lightning! _Serah eventually backed away from Lightning and simply smiled. Lightning stood frozen in front of her, her back against the wall.

"So," Serah said, "Are you hungry?"

Lightning nodded her head yes somewhat hesitantly-not knowing what to make of the event that just transpired.

"Alright then! Let's eat!" Serah exclaimed and went to prepare the table with plates and utensils for the two of them.

Lightning stood dumbstruck, still leaning against the wall, but eventually found strength to make her way to the table and sit herself down. As they ate breakfast together, Serah made her excitement for her upcoming wedding evident as Lightning simply smiled, listened politely, and answered when she needed to. _Just as I thought, it was only wishful thinking_, Lightning glumly thought to herself as she continued to listen to Serah cheerfully plan her wedding.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Later that day, Lightning came home from her shift with the guardian corps exhausted. She wanted nothing more than to plop down on her bed and conk out. She made her way up the stairs and past Serah's room when she heard the muffled sounds of moaning. Lightning felt her heart stop and she stopped dead in her tracks. She waited and listened a moment longer; afraid to breathe. More sounds of moaning and the bed creaking could be heard through the closed door. Lightning had heard enough and felt her body go into auto-drive. Before she knew it, she reached for the doorknob of Serah's room and opened her door in one swift move. What Lightning saw made her heart drop to her feet Snow Villiers was on top of her little sister, humping her roughly and grunting as he did so. Serah's hands could be seen clutching Snow's wide back; her fingernails digging into him so hard, raw scratches started to develop; she was moaning as Snow continued to thrust into her harder and harder. The two obviously didn't notice that Lightning had opened the door and was now staring dumbstruck at what they were doing. Lightning could literally hear her brain snap with uncontrollable rage. Her body felt like it was on fire from the mixture of hurt and fury. She couldn't control her anger any longer and the next thing she knew she was reaching for her gun blade holster and unsheathed it. Snow and Serah had the _ting_ of Lightning's gun blade being released. Snow turned around swiftly and saw Lightning raising the gun blade high above her head, ready to pierce the weapon square into his back. Serah screamed and caused Snow to snap out of his paralyzed state of astonishment. He rolled of off Serah in one swift movement and landed with a thud on the floor. Serah was frantically screaming at Lightning to stop, but Lightning's mind was no longer coherent; the only thought running through her mind at the moment was to seriously hurt the man who was just fucking her sister. Snow scrambled to get up off the floor, but Lightning was blocking the way out with a look of utmost determination in her vibrant blue eyes. Serah never saw her sister look so scary before. Snow protested at what Lightning was doing, but Lightning only continued in her pursuit. Lightning had backed Snow into the corner of the room and was ready to stab the bastard in the gut when out of nowhere Serah came rushing in front of Snow with her arms spread out attempting to shield him. Serah looked absolutely ridiculous trying to cover up a man who was three times wider and taller than her. Lightning couldn't help but laugh at the sight. Snow and Serah stood stone-still, confused and frightened at Lightning's sudden laughing episode. Lightning was laughing hysterically while doubled over, clutching her stomach. A tear started to roll down her cheeks from laughing too much and because of the pain she felt in her heart. She eventually stopped and took a long look at the couple before her. Serah saw Lightning's eyes filled with anguish and tears before Lighting eventually turned away and vacated her room without a word. Snow and Serah turned to look at each other in silence; confused as hell at what had just transpired.

Lighting had immediately went to her room after her manic episode and locked herself in. She slumped down the door and onto the floor. Hot tears were rolling down her cheeks and they had no intention of stopping anytime soon. Her face contorted into a look of absolute grief as she covered her face with her hands. Sobs were racking her body uncontrollably and she continued in this state for the rest of the night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The sun shone heavily on Lightning's face as it rose to greet the world with a new day. Lightning was sprawled on the floor of her room as she groggily lifted herself off of the carpet. Her eyes were extremely puffy from crying so much the previous night; it hurt just to graze it with her fingers. Lightning made her way over to her mirror and the sight before her made her shake with fear. Her hair was splayed in all sorts of different directions and dark circles could be evidently seen under her eyes. Her face was pale and her lips were cracked from dehydration. She looked exactly how she felt; miserable. Lightning decided it was best to take a long hit shower since it always soothed her to do so. It was when Lightning stepped into the relaxing warm water when the realization of what she had done last night hit her. Her memories were vague and blurry of last night, but she knew what she felt and what her intentions were. She knew that if Serah hadn't stepped in to block Snow, Lightning would have murdered him where he stood. Lightning didn't know where her murderous rage had come from. _That's not true. You know exactly why you wanted to kill the son-of-a-bitch last night_, Lightning's conscience informed her. _No! It's not true! _She protested herself. _You were jealous_, the debate with herself continued. _You were jealous that Snow was fucking you little sister last night. That is why you were blinded by rage. _"Shut up!" Lightning screamed out loud in the shower. She was crouching down and clinging to her knees, curled up into a ball. She knew it was the truth. She _is_ jealous of Snow. She _does_ have more than sisterly affections towards Serah. It was all true and once Lightning realized this, she began to sob like a child as the shower rained down on her crying form.

After crying in the shower for a good long while, Lightning feebly lifted herself up out of the bathtub and sullenly dried herself off. As she got dressed she thought about how she eventually have to face Serah sooner or later since they both lived in the same house. She sighed a breath of exasperation - if only she hadn't been so irrational and stupid the other night, but she can't go back in time. She'd have to speak to Serah and come up with a lame excuse for her violent behavior. She'll just say she was drunk and she thought Snow was an intruder so she attacked him. _Yeah, that'll work_, Lightning reassured herself. Lightning mentally prepared herself by breathing in deeply and slowly; pumping herself up for the confrontation with Serah as she opened her bedroom door into the hallway.

The house was extremely quiet. No usual sounds of Serah cooking in the kitchen could be heard as Lightning tip-toed timidly out of her bedroom. _You're being silly Lightning! _Lightning mentally yelled at herself. _What are you afraid of? Serah's your sister! _"Right," she whispered to herself and made her way downstairs.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

On her way down the stairs, Lightning immediately saw Serah's figure curled up into a ball on the couch, a cup of freshly made coffee was sitting untouched on the coffee table before her. Lightning gulped and felt how dry her throat was as she slowly approached Serah. Lightning could see that she was crying, causing a sharp pain of guilt and regret to tug at her heart. Lightning had never felt so awful - she was the cause of Serah's unhappiness and this made Lightning want to kill herself. Serah didn't hear Lightning make her way behind her and continued to cry softly into the long sleeves on her arms. Lightning hesitated to touch her; afraid she might cause her to lash out at her. _But I would deserve it_, Lightning thought. _I deserve any kind of punishment Serah would want to throw at me. _Lightning placed a hand on Serah's shoulder causing her to jump slightly from the sudden touch. Serah turned her head upwards and Lightning saw the hurt in her tear-filled eyes. Seeing the pain she had caused in her little sister, made tears form in her eyes. Lightning turned her head away, trying to conceal the tears now flowing freely from her own eyes. Serah reached an arm out to Lightning's face - forcing her head to turn to look at her while wiping away Lightning's tears. Lightning was shocked at Serah's gentle touch and unsurpassable kindness and this caused her to cry even harder. Without speaking a word to each other, Serah placed Lightning's head on her lap and was soothing her. Lightning continued to cry like a baby - she didn't understand why Serah was the one comforting her after all she had done. They stayed this way for a while until Lightning's tears stopped - Serah wiping away each one with forgiving sincerity. Lightning forced herself to look into her sister's eyes and she began to express how sorry she was for being such a monster, but Serah hushed her before she could speak any further. Serah went on to trace Lightning's pouty lips, causing Lightning to involuntarily blush. Serah smiled at how cute her exteriorly tough sister can be and inclined her head lower until she was merely inches away from Lightning's lips. Lightning's heart was beating so fast, she knew Serah could hear it. Before she realized it, Serah was kissing her softly and caressing her face with her thumb. Lightning couldn't believe what was happening and didn't know whether to feel happy or guilty. Serah continued to kiss her adding slightly more pressure into the kiss. Lightning felt a moan wanting to escape her throat, but tried her best to subdue the sound. When Serah's tongue could be felt on her lips asking for permission into her mouth, Lightning couldn't help but oblige. As Serah's tongue caressed her own, Lightning couldn't help but moan at the electric sensations coursing throughout her body. She could feel Serah's mouth curl up into a smile at Lightning's reactions. Lightning's body automatically bucked up into Serah's own wanting to feel more of her body on her own, but Serah held her down wanting to take things slowly. When Serah took her lips off of Lightning's for a moment, Lightning seized the opportunity to speak, "Serah, I -" before she could finish, Serah placed her lips against Lightning's own again, this time more roughly. "Mmph!" was the only sound Lightning could manage through her lips as Serah kissed her harder. She felt her body become alit with a fiery desire as Serah kissed her even more roughly and passionately. She never knew her sister could be so aggressive. Serah's hands traveled down past Lightning's collar bone all the way down to her stomach. There, Serah played with Lightning's belly button ring and flicked it playfully. A yelp tore out of Lightning's throat and Serah chuckled at her sister's reaction. Serah moved her head down to Lightning's neck where she licked and sucked at her jugular vein. Lightning's hands automatically entangled themselves in Serah's silky hair and she moaned at the wonderful sensations coursing down to her nether regions. Serah was being too torturously slow and Lightning couldn't wait any longer. "Serah, please," was all Lightning could gasp out weakly. Serah tore away from Lightning's neck and brought her face level to Lightning's. Lightning gazed into Serah's eyes and saw a look of complete affection. Serah kissed Lightning on the forehead and Lightning closed her eyes feeling a sense of perfect peace - the gnawing guilty feeling she felt earlier completely gone. Suddenly, Serah plunged two long slender fingers into Lightning's dripping wet core. Lightning didn't expect the sudden intrusion and her body bucked violently with pleasure and surprise. She couldn't help but moan loudly at the feeling of Serah's fingers filling her up. Serah started to thrust in and out of Lightning, showing no signs of slowing or mercy. Lightning couldn't help but cling helplessly to Serah's shoulders, following the rhythm Serah had set. Serah's thumb circled Lightning's clit while she continued to mercilessly thrust into her. Lightning couldn't take it any more, she needed a release and she needed it now. Just when she was close to the edge, Serah suddenly stopped. Lightning opened one of her eyes slowly and looked at Serah, "Why did you stop?" Lightning asked weakly. Serah simply removed her fingers out of her causing her to shiver from the sudden emptiness and straddled Lightning's hips.

"Because," Serah finally spoke. "I think you need to be punished for what you did last night." She then kissed Lightning on the lips gently.

Lightning could feel her body wanting, no, _needing _a release. Without thinking, Lightning started to bring a hand down to take care of it herself, but Serah seized her arm roughly and brought it back up to Lightning's head. "Serah, I-I need you. _Please_," Lightning begged, her eyes filled with lust.

Serah only smiled deviously as she continued to kiss Lightning. Lightning couldn't stand it she felt like she was going crazy from the unfulfilled desire pooling around in between her thighs. Lightning was squirming and whimpering nonstop as Serah continued her assault with her tongue on Lightning's breasts. Finally, Serah's head moved downwards towards the area where Lightning was eagerly wanting release. Serah chuckled wryly at how she could break someone as stoic as Lightning and took no time diving her tongue straight into Lightning's core. Serah continued to thrust her tongue in and out while rubbing Lightning's clit roughly. Once Lightning felt the delicious rough texture of Serah's tongue inside her, she came so hard her eyes could see nothing but a white light - she felt like she was about to pass out from the pleasure. Lightning moaned so loudly she thought the neighbors must have been able to hear her. Serah didn't hesitate in stopping knowing that Lightning had reached her peak, but she wanted her orgasm to last as long as possible. She continued to suck and lick on Lightning's clit as each wave of pleasure washed over Lightning's body. "Ack! Serah!" Lightning gasped. Lightning felt her body go into a state of nirvana as Serah resumed licking and sucking through her orgasm. Lightning grabbed Serah's head and pushed her face even further into her as she rode through each tremendous wave of pure ecstasy. After multiple orgasms, Lightning was left panting eagerly for air; she had never felt so weak in her life. Serah moved upwards to kiss Lightning while commingling her tongue with hers, giving Lightning a taste of herself.

"You like how you taste?" Serah playfully asked.

Lightning only gazed at Serah with a far-off look; she was still too weak to even answer. Lightning only nodded yes.

"Good, I do too," Serah whispered as she licked her lips seductively. Lightning felt herself get extremely turned on whenever Serah acted so provocatively. Lightning felt her face become quickly red from Serah's forwardness. Serah saw Lightning's face become flushed and smiled sweetly and kissed Lightning's forehead lovingly. She then laid her head on Lightning's chest - listening to Lightning's heartbeat slowing down from the recent exertion. They stayed in their positions until they both fell asleep from exhaustion.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Lightning fluttered her eyes open slowly as her eyes adjusted to the sunlight pouring in through the window. As her vision become less bleary, her eyes took in the surroundings of her room. _It was only a dream_, Lightning thought sadly. Just as she finished her thought her bed shook from the landing of a body jumping onto it. Before Lightning could even process what was happening a rough kiss was planted on her lips. Lightning opened her eyes and saw Serah's face in her vision and she screamed, but it was muffled through Serah's lips. Serah ceased and asked, "What's wrong, Claire?"

"I-I," Lightning stuttered as Serah looked at her with a slightly sad look on her face.

"Am I bothering you?" Serah now looked hurt. Lightning couldn't stand it when Serah had that look on her face so she pulled her back in and kissed her. Serah was surprised at the sudden affection, but returned the kiss anyways. They kissed for a while before Lightning said, " I only screamed because I thought last night was a dream," Lightning admitted, blushing all the while.

Serah chuckled, "Silly!" she poked Lightning's cheek. "Of course last night wasn't a dream." She then moved her lips to Lightning's ear and whispered seductively, "Did it _feel_ like a dream?"

Lightning felt her body involuntarily shake at how hot Serah's breath was on her ear. "N-no! Of course it didn't! It was amazing…" Lightning trailed off; embarrassed at what she just admitted.

Serah had a smile on her face from Lightning's cuteness, but Serah soon turned serious as she veered her legs from their previous position and onto either side of Lightning's hips. Lightning felt her heart skip a beat; she knew that look meant trouble for her. Lightning knew her dream had finally come true. _Serah's returning my feelings! And she's fulfilling every one of my wildest fantasies! _Lightning celebrated to herself. _But…_another voice cautioned. _Why the sudden affection? You know, you never even explained yourself to her about the whole fiasco with Snow_. Lightning cursed herself for having such a nagging conscience. All she wanted was to enjoy the newfound revelation in her relationship with Serah, but she knew that the unspoken incident will always gnaw at her if they didn't speak about it. Serah was only inches away from Lightning's face as she stared deep into Lightning's eyes which were so similar to hers. Lightning could see she was deep in thought, and she thought she could even see a flash of hurt cross her face, but wasn't sure. Serah was being so mysterious - Lightning could usually tell what Serah was feeling (it must be the strong instincts siblings share with each other) She was always attuned to everything that Serah was going through, but now, she couldn't pinpoint her current emotion even if she tried. Lightning reached a hand out to touch her baby sister's cheek. Serah welcomed the touch and angled her head even further into Lightning's touch. A tear dropped from Serah's cheek and onto the crook of Lightning's neck. Serah was crying and Lightning didn't know why - it killed her not knowing. The only way to know for sure was to ask. "Serah, why?" she began. Serah only looked at her vacantly with a far-away expression. Lightning was beginning to become worried by Serah's strange behavior. "Serah, about the whole ordeal with Snow. I-" at the mention of Snow, Serah's eyes became filled with rage - a rage Lightning never saw in her sister before.

Serah seethed through gritted teeth, "Please, don't say his name." She turned her head away from Lightning, obviously upset.

Lightning didn't know why Serah would be angry with Snow. She thought out of all people, Serah would be angry with _her_. "But…what happened?" Lightning hesitantly asked.

Serah's face was still turned away, and she didn't answer. After a long awkward silence, Lightning gave up prodding the subject and sighed. Serah turned her face back towards Lightning's and Lighting could see she was struggling to hold back tears. All Lighting could do was look on helplessly because not knowing what the problem was, she didn't know what to do. Serah lowered her head down and kissed her. Lightning was never so bewildered by her sister's sporadic actions, but couldn't help kiss her back. In fact, she kissed her back with such passion, Serah moaned in response. Lightning felt her whole body shift into attack mode from Serah's moan. She never knew she could make Serah emit such a delicious sound. Lightning pushed her up so she was sitting on top of her and straddling her hips. Lightning went to Serah's neck and sucked and bit until Serah was grinding against her, wanting more. "Please, Claire," Serah panted. "I need you so much right now. Please, make me forget," Serah pleaded. _What? Lightning thought. Make her forget what?" _Her mind instantly trailed off into a different direction when she felt Serah's hands tangling themselves into her hair, making her naturally messy hair even messier.

No matter how hard Lightning tried to disregard the unspoken drama, she just couldn't. She felt like an elephant was in the room and she wanted it to leave - now. "Serah," Lightning firmly said, grabbing Serah's head gently so she can look into her eyes. Serah's eyes were glazed with lust and Lightning desperately wanted to continue, but knew she had to clear the air. "We need to talk," Lightning stated, trying to make herself sound assertive as possible.

Serah only stared at Lightning dumbfounded. "Talk about what," she said innocently.

_Is she serious? She must be playing dumb. Although, why would she feel the need to?_ Lightning questioned to herself. "You know what I'm talking about, Serah," Lightning sighed. You must remember what happened that night with me and Snow."

Serah only turned her gaze downwards. There was the awkward silence between the two of them again at the mention of Snow. "Oh that…" Serah trailed off. She snapped her head back up with a happy smile on her face. Lightning was shocked at her reaction. "Forget about it, Lightning," she reassured her as she hugged her tightly.

"B-but," Lightning sputtered. "What happened after I left you guys?" she couldn't help but ask; she wanted an answer and she wanted it now.

"Why do you want to know so much anyways?" Serah said, sounding almost angry. "Besides," she continued. "I thought you'd be happy that I'm finally reciprocating your feelings."

"W-what? Lightning said, flustered.

"Come on, Lightning," Serah laughed. "You were so obvious."

"Y-you knew all along?" Lightning said more to her own self than at Serah.

"Of course I did," Serah stated as-a-matter-of-factly. "But I like it. I like how sick and perverted your love is for me," Serah giggled.

Lightning could feel her whole body become flushed with humiliation. She had never felt so ridiculous in her whole life. _Serah knew all along! _Serah was staring at Lightning with a look of amusement adorned on her face - gauging Lighting's reaction from her confession. As Lightning processed the shocking revelation, another thing was still nagging at her conscience. _What happened to Snow? _Lighting thought.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"But what about Snow?" Lighting finally asked out loud.

Serah's smile immediately vanished and was replaced with a frown once Lightning said Snow's name. "What about him?" she said somewhat dangerously.

Lightning gulped in fear at Serah's icy tone of voice. "Well, are you two still together?" Lightning meekly asked.

Serah didn't say anything, she only nodded no.

Lightning was surprised at how calm and vague Serah was being. On one side she was extremely happy that Serah now solely belonged to her_: But at what price? _Her conscience once again nagged her. Lightning's happiness instantly became burdened with a heavy guilt; she knew it was all her fault that Serah and Snow are no longer together_. Is she even happy being with her instead of Snow?_ Lightning's gut doubted. _The look on her face doesn't look so happy in my opinion_, her conscience condescended. "Serah," Lightning whispered, trembling slightly from the threat of oncoming tears. "I'm so sorry. It's all my fault," Lightning sobbed, no longer able to hold back the tears of guilt.

Serah stared at Lightning with a look of sympathy in her eyes, but Lightning thought she saw a faint snarky smile donned on Serah's lips, but dismissed it as her imagination. "It's not your fault, Claire," Serah soothed her as she cradled Lightning in her arms. Lightning felt so safe and secure in her sister's arms. She felt her heart well up with such love for Serah as she relished the warmth of her sister's body. All she needed in this life was Serah, and she'd live and die happy.

As Lightning continued to be rocked comfortingly by Serah, she never realized that deep down inside her sister's heart, Serah abhorred Lightning for what she had done. The truth was, Serah thought her sister was selfish for what she had done. It _was _Lightning's fault that she's no longer with Snow. She _does_ blame her for all her unhappiness at the moment, but she'd never show it or say it to Lightning. Not yet, at least. What really happened that night when Lightning came barging in their room hurt Serah deeply whenever she thought about it - she had been trying her hardest to forget it.

**_**Flashback**_**

After Lightning left Serah's room after her manic episode, Serah and Snow were left alone in bewilderment and fear. Serah could feel Snow shaking violently from the terror Lightning had stricken in him. _She nearly killed him! _Serah thought. And it was the truth. If Serah wasn't in the way to stop her, Lightning would have not hesitated to murder the love of her life. When Serah thought about this, she felt her body become wracked with anger towards her sister. "Snow," Serah said, grasping at Snow's biceps. "Snow, are you okay?" Snow was still shaking uncontrollably as Serah grabbed for his arm. Serah could see a look of complete trauma on Snow's face. "Snow?" she nudged him, now really worried about him.

Snow finally looked down at Serah, still trembling from his near-death experience. Serah felt her heart break for her fiance as she hugged him tightly, trying her best to calm his body down.

Snow placed a hand on Serah's head as he muttered, "Serah, I think we should cancel our wedding."

Serah felt her heart drop at Snow's statement. "What?" Serah exclaimed "You mean, you want to postpone the wedding?" Serah hopefully asked.

Snow's voice was still quaking, "No, Serah," he said as he swept his hand through Serah's hair. "I mean, we should break up."

Serah felt tears sting her eyes. "No!" she yelled. "No, Snow! Please, I love you!" Serah poured her heart out. She was now clinging on to him like a lifeline.

Snow easily detached her arms off of his torso. "It's for the best," he whispered as he made his way to the door.

Serah wasn't going to let the love of her life leave her this way. "SNOW!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, but Snow refused to look back and continued to walk away. Serah felt her body become paralyzed from despair. She couldn't get her legs to budge from the spot. Instead she collapsed into a heap on the floor as she watched Snow vacate her room and her life. "Snow," Serah whispered and sobbed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 **

Thinking about the night Snow forever left her life, made Serah shudder with rage. With her arms still around Lightning, Lightning felt her baby sister shudder and mistook it for her sister being on the verge of crying. Lightning reached out a hand to tenderly place it on the top of her sister's head to comfort her. Serah's rage quelled a bit from Lightning's gentle touch, but the thought of Snow and the life she could have shared with him, clouded all of her sense of reason. Serah pulled her head back from Lightning's shoulders to gaze into Lightning's eyes. _I love you, Claire. I really do_, Serah confessed to herself as she continued to stare deeply into the eyes of her sister. She really did _love_ her big sister. She _loved_ how she showed her affection mainly through actions - by being the overprotective big sister or by comforting her whenever she was down or hurt. Serah _loved_ Claire, but she could never forgive her for pushing away her _true_ love - Snow.

Lightning could feel her heart beat frantically at how much in love she was with Serah. Lightning never knew she could feel so happy and fulfilled. She didn't want this moment to end. Everything was absolutely perfect. Lightning pulled Serah closer to her and hugged her tightly. "Serah," she began. "Serah, I love you," Lightning confessed for the first time out loud. She had told Serah she loved her many times, but this particular time, she meant it in more ways than one.

Serah could only freeze at the sincere tone of Lightning's confession. She couldn't bring herself to respond because the truth was Serah didn't love Claire the way she loved her.

Lightning felt a chill rush over her body; something felt wrong. Serah remained stiff in the grip of Lightning's hug. "Serah?" Lightning called out to her worriedly.

Serah couldn't look Lightning in the eyes as she spoke, "Claire, there's something I need to tell you," she whispered.

Lightning asked nervously, "W-what is it?"

Serah still refused to look Lightning in the eyes. "It's about all of _this_," she simply stated.

"This?" Lightning wondered out loud. "What do you mean?" Lightning could feel some sort of impending doom loom over her heart. It gave her the chills.

"Well, you see…" Serah hesitated. She knew once she told Claire the truth, their relationship as lovers _and_ sisters would be over forever.

"You can tell me anything," Lightning reassured her. Something in her heart told her that by saying that, she signed her own death certificate.

After fishing around in her mind for the happy memories of her and Snow as a couple, reminding herself of why she was doing something so diabolical in the first place. Serah came to a resolve - she will get her revenge for what she forever lost. A sudden steely resolve replaced her once hesitant, meek one and the time to exact her revenge on the person who was responsible for all her heartache, was now. "Claire," she sweetly called out her beloved sister's name.

"Y-yes?" Lightning responded shakily. She didn't know why she felt so scared.

"You want to know the truth?' Serah asked her nonchalantly.

"The truth?" Lightning felt like she was in the Twilight Zone. Everything suddenly felt like it got colder, somewhat eerie.

Serah giggled at Lightning's cluelessness. "Yeah, the truth."

Lightning twisted her face in puzzlement. _Why is Serah acting so weird? _She thought. Deep down inside, Lightning almost felt like she already knew the reason why.

Serah giggled again, her eyes glinted with a sign of derangement. "The truth!" Serah was now laughing maniacally. "You can't handle the truth, Claire!"

Looking at Serah laughing so crazily, reminded her of the night when she herself had a lapse of insanity - laughing like a crazy person in front of Snow and Serah while wielding her gunblade. "Serah, you're starting to scare me," Lightning said softly. Serah really _was_ starting to scare her.

"You think I'm scary _now_, Claire?" Serah was inches away from Lightning's face as she spoke. "Listen closely, Claire because I'm about to tell you a little story," Serah chuckled. "You see, Claire. The night when you nearly murdered my fiance was the night that my life ended. Not physically of course, but spiritually."

Lightning felt her breath catch in her throat which was so dry at the moment, she felt like choking.

Serah continued, "You don't know this Claire, but Snow broke up with _me_ that night and my whole world died once he left. Without Snow, I have no reason to live. _He's _the love of my life, not you Claire.

Lightning saw the serious look on Serah's face and the painful sting of Serah's words. She felt as if Serah had physically stabbed her in the heart with a knife and she was slowly bleeding from the wound. They were only words, but they killed her all the same.

Serah did not stop there. "Claire, I knew you always had a more than sisterly love towards me and I admit, I thought it was pretty cute before. But after the night when you showed how jealous and selfish you could be, I wanted to vomit at the thought of your disgusting feelings towards me."

_This can't be Serah, _Lightning thought incredulously. _Serah would never be as cruel and mean-spirited as the girl who's sitting before me. Could she? _Lightning felt as if her once loving, kind sister no longer existed. Maybe Serah really did die that night. She never realized that through her own irrational actions that night, she had forever tarnished her little sister's soul - she has lost Serah forever. All Lightning could feel was grief and regret.

Serah saw the hurt look on Lightning's face and relished in her victory. "Every time we had sex, I had to imagine you were Snow," Serah spat. "The only thought running through my head at the time, was that I just needed to keep up the act long enough to convince you that I really loved you. I'm guessing that it worked," Serah remarked.

Lightning felt her whole world turn upside down. She was at a lost for words. Everything that happened between the two of them was all a _lie_. An act! _It can't be! _Her mind protested. _It just can't be! _Another voice intervened her thoughts of denial. _Of course it is. Deep down inside, you knew it was all too good to be true. In fact, you even think that you deserve it. _"No!" Lightning shouted out loud while grasping at the sides of her head. Her brain _really _hurt. She just wanted to shut out all the voices, including Serah's.

Serah looked at Lightning devoid of all emotion_. Strange_, she thought._ I predicted I would at least have some ounce of remorse, but I don't. _Serah got up off Lightning's bed and made her way to the door. She turned her head back to see Lightning curled up into a fetus-like position on her bed. Serah's heart melted slightly at the pitiful sight. "I did love you Claire. Honestly I did," Serah whispered as she approached the door. "But I did what I had to do and you know you deserve it." Serah was now exiting the doorway of the room. As she rounded into the hallway she said, "This will be the last time you ever see me. Please, don't bother to look for me. Goodbye." And then she was gone.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 (Epilogue) **

As the sound of Serah's footsteps vanished completely, Lightning remained curled up into a ball on her bed; her body refused to move a muscle. Lightning's entire body felt drained completely of energy. She was still processing what Serah had said to her. _Without Snow, Serah had nothing to live for? _Lightning reflected. "It's funny," Lightning said out loud, "Without _you_ Serah, _I_ have nothing to live for." _Serah had said Snow was her true love, not her,_ Lightning brooded. Serah had no idea that Lightning feels that Serah is her one and only true love. Reliving every thing Serah had confessed to her, added more poison to her heart. Lightning couldn't help but to divulge everything Serah said seriously and wholeheartedly. Every sentence played over and over again in her head.

Lightning still couldn't believe how cruel Serah had treated her. Never in her dizziest daydreams, would she have ever imagined Serah to be so vindictive. _But deep down, you know you still love her don't you?_ Her mind interrupted. She knew it was the truth. She couldn't deny it. Even after all Serah put her through, she couldn't find it in her heart to harbor hate towards her baby sister.

Something in her heart stirred slightly from the lingering love she still had for Serah, giving her body the burst of energy it needed to pick itself up off the bed. As she staggered onto her feet, her mind rebuked her for having such childish false hope_. Lightning, you're being naïve._ Her mind echoed._ Even after all the grief Serah has caused you, you still love her unconditionally?_ Her conscience questioned disbelievingly. Lightning refused to listen to her conscience's lecture, as she carried on towards the stairs. She stood at the top of the stairs, listening to the ambience of the house. There was nothing, but deafening silence. _What were you listening for? Serah cooking in the kitchen? _Her thoughts ridiculed her hopefulness. Lightning felt her body wanting to fall to the floor and lay there until the end of time, but she still foolishly pressed on - refusing to accept the truth.

Lightning slowly made her way down the stairs and looked around. Nothing. There was no longer another presence in the house and Lightning could feel it. Lightning felt her legs give out from under her and she collapsed onto the couch. She laid on the couch, too depressed to keep searching the house. As she laid there, Lightning realized that the couch she was lying on was where Serah and Lightning first made love. _Made love?_ Her thoughts blared in again. _That wasn't love. It was deceit. _Lightning could only lay there and listen to her instinctive thoughts plague her with one depressing truth after another, until she accidentally fell asleep.

Lightning awoke with a start; a sudden ominous feeling made her sick to her stomach. _How long had she been asleep? _The sun was setting and rays of the sunset basked the house in a sleepy, orange glow. Lightning felt a disturbance wake her from her sleep - she couldn't pinpoint what it was that was making her feel this way. Instinctively, Lightning grabbed the remote control and flicked on the television. As if the fates wanted her to bear witness, the news immediately flashed onto the screen. There was a breaking news story being reported.

A prim and proper news anchor with coiffed hair was announcing the news. "This just in," he grimly started, "Two bodies were found outside the apartments of Bodhum in what appears to be a double suicide. The victims are identified as Snow Villiers and Serah Farron." A picture of Serah and Snow appeared on the sides of the television. Lightning felt her whole body shake with hysteria. The news anchor continued, "Both bodies appear to have jumped off the balcony of the twentieth floor of the seaside apartment building. We'll have more on the story as it develops."

Lightning immediately flicked off the television and slumped back into the couch. Her mind reeled with thoughts of what must have happened. _Serah must have went to find Snow - probably to ask him to be together again. But he must have refused, causing the already distraught Serah to become even more enraged. She must have caught him off guard and tackled him, causing him to fall over the balcony along with herself. _These were all assumptions, but Lightning knew her sister better than anyone and she knew that must have been what really happened. Lightning remained sitting on the couch deep in contemplation at the groundbreaking news. Her baby sister was dead - her baby sister she had swore to her parents she would protect no matter what. Serah's death was all her fault. Lightning remained motionless as sorrow swept over her whole body. Life suddenly became so bleak and dark, Lightning could no longer see any glimpse of happiness left in her world.

Lightning went to her room to fetch her gunblade. On her way back downstairs, she passed by Serah's room and noticed it was slightly ajar. She wanted to take one last look at her sister's room. She pushed back the door and Serah's neat, girly room came into her view. Lightning took a couple of steps inside as she touched each one of her little cutesy trinkets and belongings. Memories of seeing her sister sitting at the quaint desk in the corner of the room suddenly filled her vision. She remembered she used to check up on Serah after work, to make sure she was okay. She was reminded of how Serah would always, without fail, welcome her home with a smile on her face. Lightning felt her heart break as she walked back to the door to leave the room. Lightning turned to take one last look at the room before she finally closed the door behind her.

The gunblade was balanced on Lightning's lap as she sat and contemplated about her family. Lightning looked around the house that held so many memories of her mother, father, and Serah. She wanted her last thought in her life to be a happy one, so she thought of the time when her parents were still alive and when she and Serah were still kids. They had just spent a whole day at the beach as a family and she and Serah were sitting on the pier staring out at the sunset. Serah's head rested on Lightning's shoulder as they both sat on the edge of the pier. Lightning looked down to see Serah sleeping peacefully - the sunset's glow illuminating her face warmly. Lightning remembered her heart swelling up with the utmost adoration for her baby sister as she continued to watch the sinking sunset. As the orange glow of the sun reached the precipice of the ocean line, Lightning remembered, as a child, wondering why happy times in life only lasted for a short while. And then there was only darkness.


End file.
